If you do not go to many weddings, you may be wondering what the proper etiquette is when deciding on a gift. Deciding on how much to spend and what to buy depends on how close you are to the bride and/or groom and a variety of other factors. From the engagement gift to the bridal shower to the wedding gift itself, the whole affair can get quite expensive. To avoid going broke, a little planning is in order. Decide what you can afford to spend in total.
After you decide on a dollar amount, a good rule of thumb is to spend 20% on the engagement gift; 20% on the bridal shower; and 60% on the wedding gift. "You don't want to give a really lofty engagement present and then realize, 'Now, I don't have enough money to spend on the wedding present.' You really want to plan and allocate what you're giving ahead of time," Jamie Miles of The Knot says.
Miles also has some common figures for you to avoid coming across as cheap. At least $75-$100 is the average gift price on the wedding present to a distant friend or co-worker. For a close friend or relative she says the average gift goes for around $100-$125. "On average, friends spend $79 on the bride and groom's present," she said. Family members generally spend an average of $146.
A registry is the best place to get an idea of what to buy. However, in many cases writing out a check is an easy alternative and one that is appreciated in the current economy. Financial expert at David's Bridal, Catey Hill says a typical cash gift of $150 is acceptable in most circumstances but there are exceptions. "Some people don't think that's a great idea," said Hill. She has seen a "relaxing of the rules" over the past few years when it comes to wedding gift etiquette.
"Brides and grooms understand that some guests are financially-strapped," she said. A personal gift from a friend having financial difficulties may mean more to the couple than an expensive gift and it is really the thought that counts. "It can save you money, and the bride and groom may think, 'Wow, she (/he) really thought about that and it really meant something to me,'" said Hill.
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